I am sure you have had one of those horrible moments when someone smiled at you, briefly lit up your heart and then replaced the smile with a cynical smirk. It’s worse than a smirk on its own, because our instinct is to warm to a smile so by the time the smirk comes we will have smiled back, only to then be shamed by their real motive.
Many marketers do the same thing, throwing out the welcome mat and then turning on us with all the coldness they can muster as soon as it becomes evident that we are not bankable. That is so dumb, because prospects could so easily on-refer the firm and its products, based on positive experiences. They could also have a subsequent rethink or a change of circumstances that would bring them back into the market.
When I was in the army, a sergeant spent some time in our tent just chatting warmly to us. Later I saw him again in the mess hall and I greeted him warmly, which embarrassed him in front of his peers. He pulled me aside and threatened my life if I ever dared to be so familiar again. I know I overstepped the mark, but he created the expectations. Though I respected his need to manage boundaries, his approach was about self preservation.
Charles Schwab, whose management style formed the basis of my Master’s thesis, is renowned for his warmth. Its not just in his heartbeat, it is also plastered all over his warm, handsome face, which belies a personal struggle against dyslexia. Schwab built a network, which at one time processed more dollars than any other financial services firm in America, yet the firm only “owned” one thing – a fiercely loyal customer base. That gave him a very tradable currency with which to leverage superior products from third party product companies and superior referrals from independent financial advisers.
Schwab said, “My ability to arouse enthusiasm in employees is my greatest asset. The way to develop the best in someone is by appreciation and encouragement. Nothing kills ambition like criticism from one’s superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving people the incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise, but loathe to find fault.”
Now, there is a man whose smile stays there. His authentic leadership style is worth its weight in gold. Neil Cole said it well: "Today authenticity is valued more than excellence. People have found that it is possible to have excellence yet not be real."
I have known many times when leaders have generated certain expectations and aroused interest only to then stumble at the first pass, failing even in the most basic test of the relationship. Maybe that is why I find no problem in shaking things up a little to test how real a relationship is, before investing my hopes and energies any further.
You can theorise about leadership until the cows come home, but successful leadership is always about relationships and relationships still rely, even in this cold age, on human touch. That is why authenticity will always separate great leaders from the also-rans.
(c) Peter Eleazar @ www.4u2live.net
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